Sunday, September 11, 2005

True, I have slacked down on blogging since I came back from Beirut, but not for not wanting. On the contrary, I have been desperately trying to shoo the fog of anxiety and tune down my self-indulgence, but my mind has been stubbornly one-sided.
I would love to rant about the demise of the New Orelanders, the sensationalist headlines of British newspapers ("Tesco Put Porn On My Phone!"), my love of filthy Bethnal Green road slackers and the state of my toes after an unexpected downpour in sandals... But it is the realization that I am now battling against the pearly crop of graduate designers from RCA and StMartins, who are going to steal all job opportunities out there, that has won over. I am not jealous, just resigned. They will be waving those lovely certificates of theirs, and stampeding on my efforts.
But it's OK. I've decided a change of career is in hand anyway. Being a designer is over-rated, and making things pretty for corporate greed is not what I had in mind. Isn't it in moments of utter disillusionment that people have bloomed and turned to the unplanned? I am not a labelled worker. As I said in one of my last-resort applications to a magazine I'd loved to join:
"I can write, design, clean, answer phones, make a delicious cafe mocha, i can illustrate, take amazing photographs, i don't do drugs, but i smoke like a chimney, i cook great Lebanese food, can guzzle white wine, need to poop in solitude, i have designed a whole book about my naked body, and own a bike called Gwen."
(He turned me down: Advetising Sales Executive was still not part of my amazing capabilities.)
To Be Continued...

6 comments:

SCHRmm said...

You are amazing at what you do, feeling dependant on the job market is just not an option as it is not opening up to you. I have been and will be in that predicament for a long time. Doing projects like "not for sale" has really helped me in realising that I am an artist because I believe in something and a paying job is just something neccesary. I struggle with that but doing independant projects helps to make you see why you are what you are. I for one can not wait to see what you will come up with in the total freedom of having nothing to loose, I am your waiting audience...

ZOoz said...

being a designer is overrated. and no, making things beautiful for the corporate suit is not what design is. and it should never be. after selling my soul, i proudly took it back.
and hence, i shall go rot in my dirt and cheap living, doing what i love most—dreaming and authoring my own projects.
your words of wisdom reminded me again why i resigned last week.
and by the way, you will do it. your own way. not somebody else's way. because of a very simple reason rasha: you are not built that way.
may the creative forces be with you
;)

Tempest said...

I will be joining in that fight in a couple of months... till then, I'm keeing an eye out for that book...

Anonymous said...

Is the advertising sales executive position still available?

Rasha said...

Actually, I think it is... (www.viceland.com)
Good luck anonymous!

Alter Ego. said...

I would've hired u..
But hey am still a 3rd year Graphic Designer in the making.. what do i know..